buzzydr

cheh… kenapa ler kebelakangan ni aku macam kena serangan death?… agaknya sebab aku kerap sangat dengar lagu ‘bila aku sudah tiada’ by hujan ker…. hem i have no idea….

last week aku gi ward 8B actually sebab aku nak tengok something call sengtaken-blakemore tube…but that patient dah referred to selayang… so aku pun round2 ward… nak clerk mlm tu aku tak bawa buku or paper… aku nampak ler one patient yang dijaga oleh anaknya around 15 years old… and sambil beramah mesra tu aku pun tahulah mak dia ada crc…. and aku ada gak bertegur sapa kat makcik tu… dier tachypnic…. and bila aku minta dier pasang oksigen tu dier kata dier tak selesa… so aku biarkan jela…. aku tanya anak dier is she is better than before… anak dier kata after the surgery the abdomen tak distended but that nite the abdomen distended balik… and she asked me is it normal… for me it isnt normal… selalunya mean there is something happen inside it… tp bila mo check… mcm tak nampak apa2 reaction pun kat muka mo tu… malah that mo just tulis jer apa yang dier nak tulis… tak tanya pun zati perper… so after that aku blah…

next two days tt gurl msg aku ckp mak dia dalam icu… and aku said aku mmg tak leh buat apa2…. yelah aku ni student bukannya mo… apa yang aku boleh buat? on friday masa kat ot aku terdengar surgeon ckp about a case and aku tertanya… mak budak tu ker….

n saturday aku dapat msg… makcik tu meninggal….. actually aku agak terbayang2… sebab aku ckp ngn makcik tu… aku sentuh makcik tu… and she is my first patient yang aku tahu meninggal….amat menyedihkan….. s far yg aku tahu family dier ckp berterima kasih ngn doktor2 sebab did try their best for the aunt…

n saturday tu gak aku terus melawat makcik aku yang diserang mengitis kat PPUM….makcik aku masa tu dah ok tp tak betul2 concious… plg aku sedih bila aku nak info pada doctor yang in charge…. bila aku ckp aku cousin bdk2 ni n they ask about their mom… that doctor refused to answer at first… sampailah aku cakap aku medical student… barulah pompuan tu nak buka mulut and barulah all the nurse smile….. stupid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

aku jumpa pakcik aku kejap jer…. n dier sempat ckp ada medical student datang asked about his wife… tapi lama2 pakcik aku bengang and said kalo ramai2 tanya matilah saya…. actually aku tak der perasaan nak ckp tak baik ker apa ker… yelah student tu pun satu… dah ler makcik aku masa tu kritikal.. doctor siap suruh prepare for the worst and diorang pergi datang buat apa?…. nasib lah…..kadang2 tengok student diorang naik menjengkelkan gak…. aku senyum biuat macam akulah the best punyer muka kat aku… what ever….

cheh… kenapa ler kebelakangan ni aku macam kena serangan death?… agaknya sebab aku kerap sangat dengar lagu ‘bila aku sudah tiada’ by hujan ker…. hem i have no idea….

last week aku gi ward 8B actually sebab aku nak tengok something call sengtaken-blakemore tube…but that patient dah referred to selayang… so aku pun round2 ward… nak clerk mlm tu aku tak bawa buku or paper… aku nampak ler one patient yang dijaga oleh anaknya around 15 years old… and sambil beramah mesra tu aku pun tahulah mak dia ada crc…. and aku ada gak bertegur sapa kat makcik tu… dier tachypnic…. and bila aku minta dier pasang oksigen tu dier kata dier tak selesa… so aku biarkan jela…. aku tanya anak dier is she is better than before… anak dier kata after the surgery the abdomen tak distended but that nite the abdomen distended balik… and she asked me is it normal… for me it isnt normal… selalunya mean there is something happen inside it… tp bila mo check… mcm tak nampak apa2 reaction pun kat muka mo tu… malah that mo just tulis jer apa yang dier nak tulis… tak tanya pun zati perper… so after that aku blah…

next two days tt gurl msg aku ckp mak dia dalam icu… and aku said aku mmg tak leh buat apa2…. yelah aku ni student bukannya mo… apa yang aku boleh buat? on friday masa kat ot aku terdengar surgeon ckp about a case and aku tertanya… mak budak tu ker….

n saturday aku dapat msg… makcik tu meninggal….. actually aku agak terbayang2… sebab aku ckp ngn makcik tu… aku sentuh makcik tu… and she is my first patient yang aku tahu meninggal….amat menyedihkan….. s far yg aku tahu family dier ckp berterima kasih ngn doktor2 sebab did try their best for the aunt…

n saturday tu gak aku terus melawat makcik aku yang diserang mengitis kat PPUM….makcik aku masa tu dah ok tp tak betul2 concious… plg aku sedih bila aku nak info pada doctor yang in charge…. bila aku ckp aku cousin bdk2 ni n they ask about their mom… that doctor refused to answer at first… sampailah aku cakap aku medical student… barulah pompuan tu nak buka mulut and barulah all the nurse smile….. stupid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

aku jumpa pakcik aku kejap jer…. n dier sempat ckp ada medical student datang asked about his wife… tapi lama2 pakcik aku bengang and said kalo ramai2 tanya matilah saya…. actually aku tak der perasaan nak ckp tak baik ker apa ker… yelah student tu pun satu… dah ler makcik aku masa tu kritikal.. doctor siap suruh prepare for the worst and diorang pergi datang buat apa?…. nasib lah…..kadang2 tengok student diorang naik menjengkelkan gak…. aku senyum biuat macam akulah the best punyer muka kat aku… what ever….

pagi2 buta ni aku bukannya nak berfalsafah or apatah lagi nak berafalsampah….

tp aku ada modus operandi untuk menyebarkan ilmu and keburukan merokok… ini adalah amanah dari seorang pakcik yang aku jumpa kat salah satu ward kat hospital…(wei korang kiasu mcm mn pun jangan ler terjah pakcik tu lagi)…. pakcik tu ada lung cancer kat upper lobes…but takder ler horner’s syndrome ker apa2 syndrome seumpama dengannya…the +ve finding…. percussion-dullness, breath sound…? tanya fiza apa yang dier jumpa… aku just percussed and took picture jer….and the most important thing is pakcik tu ada clubbing yang sangat2 ketara…. orang buta pun boleh differentiate it… and kalo korang exam n terlepas pandang keclubbingan pakcik ni…. korang memang worst than buta la… sorry to say….hehehehehe this uncle said, dier smoked for quite sometimes laa…. and the nail changing happened years prior to the diagnosis.. and dier ada lah cerita mcm mn perasaan dier when he first knew about his disease… how he faced it. and etc2…..

yang penting, bila aku tengok pakcik tu… what came across my mind was in one second everything can happen and change our life…change our motive of life… yelah bila ko didiagnose with life threatening disease korang masa tu takkan terfikir nak kawen laa… nak beranak supaya mengekalkan kemandirian (hahhhaha ayat)…. but at that moment ko lebih tertumpu adakah cukup amal kita nak berjumpa ngan Maha Pencipta (hello ni bukan dr Maha-give me 10 things about crc,it is bigger than that…)fikir about our family,mcm mn kita nak tinggalkan merka di dunia ni…. adakah mereka boleh survive bila kiter takde , lagi2 kalo kite adalah bread winner dalam family tu… etc2… masa tu kita akan cuba gunakan limited time yang kita ada untuk sebaik yang mungkin… ok fine kite ckp semua manusia akan mati.. malah kita mayb akan mati lebih dulu dr pakcik tu… maybe accident ker per ke kan… it is truth… tp aku percaya, most of the time kesibukkan kiter ngan study, kerja ker, kita sebenarnya terleka…yelah, bangun pagi, kiter plan what we want to do through out the day…. ada tak tiba2 kiter rancang oklah kalo aku mati hari ni tak sempat ler buat ni tu or etc….jarang atau tepat kiter takder masa nak buat tu semua… malah masa kita untuk mengigati ALLAh hanya 5 kali sehari, tupun kekhusyukkan kiter di hadapantikar sembahyang boleh dipertikaikan… and paling kelakar bila kita perform our pray dalam kita mengejar masa… cthyer cp ngan datuk kandar at while class ngan mr patel end at 1.45… masa tu per yang kiter buat hanyalah tonggek2 and minda kiter jauh menerawang… what are the questions that datuk will ask? ad etc2 about datuk kandar….tak terfikir di minda kita what are the question that ALLAH will ask at the final day about this solat…. do we alow to give excuses? no no n no….

so guys, moral of the story here are, hidup kita bukan untuk selamanya, jangan merokok,. and love ur family…

adios  

sapa tak kenal datuk kandar… the most famous consultant surgeon in malaysia…. bukan setakat semua staff hospital tuanku jaafar jer yang kenal tapi even hkl’s staff pun know him… if he rang je hkl, they will immediately recieve the case…. eventhough before tu thousand medical officers had tried it…. datuk kandar ward round started at 7.45 a.m. if u r late better u r not coming in otherwise die laaa….. i still remember he did his ward round and a new houseman presented her case… no doubt she looked so scared…. and it happened to everyone… especially imu’s student…. setiap kali cp ngn datuk kandar, my heart beating so fast until i seemed could hear the sound dub dub dub…. my mouth is so dry although i tried my best to look cool…. i couldn’t feel my limbs… and when he asked question, my blood supply to brain stopped, i couldnt think anything…

why i said that he loves us so much….? absolutely.. usually in one posting he would have a cp max 3 times with any small group…. i repeat it again MAXIMUM 3 TIMES…. but with my beloved group… he have 5 cp with us….. pecah rekod imu….. supposely we only have 3 cp with him, but he also replaces prof yushak for two session…

today we just had our cp with him…. and almost died of myocardiac infarction… and just now we received a msg said that we are going to have a cp with him tomorrow….. wawawa…… pethatic, lethargy, and die laaaa………….

actually i wrote this post last wednesday but accidently i deleted it…. now i have to type it again shooooo…… last wednesday we supposely had an operation theater session with datuk kandar at hospital port dickson… so as early 5.45 i woke up and got prepare so that we wont be late…. and as early 7.15 we started our most scary journey…. at first i drove lamely… hehehehe 80km/j to 100 km/j…(isnt  it like a siput walking on the highway?) seriously i wasnt had mood to speed, until andre over took me…. so i said to nabia… are we late?… n coming late for datuk k session is seemed like u r commit suicide… so pe lagi… i speed like hell and reached hpd right after them…. actually when i started to speed my car nabia ask me a cepumas question… if datuk k was the one who overtook us what sould i do?…. my answer was very simple… aku akan speed tak kisah lah kalo tayar ker enjin aku terbang ke mana… as long as i would reach there immediately after him…. and guess what my sacrifaction of fuel (absolutely when u r speeding u burn more fuel.. more fuel more money loh..) not worthy at all… y? becoz actually the session was cancelled as there wasnt any operation or scope been scheduled… as we were so tired (not bcoz of driving of course… due to oversecretion of adr-datuk k session laaa) we decided to have our breakfast at pd town… after that we stopped at beach… so funny.. our ot session was shift to pd beach… so here came the naked mermaid…. while we were playing at the beach side, andre was preoccupied with sand alone by himself. at first i thought he was making a sand castle so i ignored it.. but a few seconds later i saw everyone surronding him and started to give him their hand to finish the ’sand castle’.. i got curious and came nearer and found out that it was not a lame sand castle but they were trying to make a sand naked mermaid… actualy i was the last one who joined them helping andre finishing his master piece the naked mermaid…. believed it or not the mermaid was damnly cool for something made from sand and it was something different from other…. yelah usualy they build sand castle but this one was totslly more creative…. to have a propotionate figure of a mermaid u really must have a quite high knowledge of human anatomy… otherwise it would be weird…. when i entered the evening pbl session class someone asked me iefa what did u have this morning at PD? spontaneously i answered we learn human anatomy…. and andre answered told u right…. so now everyone would know how we learned our anatomy that morning….

can i say that i m crazy? absolutely can…. i spend more than 14 hours watching why why love taiwanese drama…. to make it heard even pathetic… i slept at 3 on friday and saturday as i couldnt help to watch it…. actually i couldnt help myself from watching the gorgeous handsome cool wang chuan yi @king one… god he is just my prince charming and the way he walks, talks and eat (?) really really cool…. or should i said it trice to mean that it is truely cool? rainie is just a luckiest girl in this world been kissed by that man…(i m jealous) but the story is just unfair…. i mean it… why most of the drama that he acted described him as a man who would not get his first love… seriously… i cant remember the other drama which he acted as leader of basketball team, rainie as the manager, and mike as one of the basketball player….. in that drama he didnt get rainie but mike got her…. why they are too cruel towards him…. alrite if u dont want him just give him to me… hahahahahahaha…. why dont u watch the drama…. i m sure u like it…. but dont u ever try to steal him from me…. he is mine… hahhahha(stupid!!!!!!!)

dah masuk 2008 this year and it is about 6 years aku tinggalkan alam persekolahan menengah aku… once aku pernah melarikan diri dari kawan2 aku… funny kan…? but serius it happened….. after darjah 6 aku tinggalkan umah aku n studied kat boarding school…. after that aku terus tak jumpa kawan2 sekolah rendah aku…. bagi aku buat apa meet mereka after what they had done toward me….. and after 3 years belajar kat sekolah tu aku moved to a new school…. banyak yang aku dapat belajar kat 3rd school aku… belajar mcm mn nak menjadi seorang manusia… tapi sekali lagi bila aku habis belajar aku terus menyepi…kerana bagi aku menyepi ni adalah normal…. once we leave that place mean we must leave everyhting behind….aku tak pergi pun reunion yang dianjurkan…. i went once tp aku rasa tempat aku bukan kat situ…. not among them… and awal2 tahun ni tiba2 aku masuk friendster kawan2 aku…. hem…. mcm2 bender dah berlaku….. 6 tahun…. tak sedar aku kami semua membesar….. ada yang dah grade… ada yang dah bertunang., kahwin… and ada yang couple among kawan2 kitorang…. life…. unpredectable…. 6 tahun…. kadang2 rasa macam baru semalam aku ambil gambar last aku depan kisas before I left kisas…. and rasa macam semalam aku duduk sebelah fiza dalam class 506….. n now baru aku sedar dalam 6 tahun aku menyepi aku kehilangan kawan2 yang pernah susah senang bersama2 aku….. tapi tulah hakikatnya…. n now aku terfikir when aku grade dr imu, aku mestu sangat sibuk as h.o…. and masa tu aku maybe akan kehilangan kawan2 aku di imu lak…… that’s my life…..