buzzydr

i will talk what is human sexuality although i m not trying to be a sexiologist or andrologist… i just want to share with all of those who like to read whatever crab i create in my blog, my experience attending a human sexuality lecture by dr mohd ismail thambi….

who is dr mohd ismail thambi? alright believe it or not he is the only sexiologist in malaysia… we have about 26 milions population but heck only one dare enough to be a sexiologist..

in his lecture he talked a lot of things and of course most of it relating to sex… whether abnormal sex like sodomy, difficulty having sex or about marriage couple who thought they are having sex but actually they penetrate at the wrong place.. wrong place? …yeah like belly button or other part which look like an opening…. interesting huh…

actually when listening to the lecture, along the process sometimes i felt a little bit awkward, discomfort and etc… hello although i am a medic student but still i am a malay single normal girl right so i dont think feeling that weird feel is wrong….  honestly i have to put a lot of affords to sit there and listen his lecture till the last slide…. and i make it… but when it finished, something come across my mind, if i acted like this how about my future patient…

i know that what i will write after this is quite sensitive but i want to share some experience which are realistic and dont try to say that they are just a crabs as its happened to me…

dr ismail said that we medical students have credit as we learn anatomy of our own body and most of people out there haven’t got the opportunity. his totally right…. when i was a kid i mean before menarche i used to know that i have two lubang… hehe one to popo and one to cici… hem that what we had learnt when we small right… why your mother never told you that this is your clitoris it is your urethra orifice and this is your anus… and you urine goes out through your urethra opening and your faeces through your anus….becauSE SIMPLE… THEY EVEN DONT KNOW THE SPECIFIC TERM FOR EACH HOLE… a myth that i create until i was 20 is, female pee through clitoris… cerdik right… although i learn biology since form 4 and become a medic student when i was late 19.  because urethra is hiding below and clitoris seem like act as an urethra…and clitoris is like a short penis of boys kan… and when i got my menarche,i screamed like hell…. alrgough i learned about haid/menses at my evening religious school but still, i was quite shocked….as i thought that the menses blood is scanty..  and my mother was kind to brought me through the difficult time. and now i know hem we have another hole which situated down there… down where? i believe that most of us have our initiative to learn this things.. and i did like what dr ismail told us in the lecture although i didnt know him yet or nobody ask me to do so… it is just my enthusiastic behavior.

what else? i learned that a baby will delivered out through female vagina when i was form 3. however during that time i dont know la, that part is call vagina… they told me like this… baby keluar ikut tempat keluar period… hehehe… and in my family we have beautiful term for labour.. delivering through caesarrian call kuar ikut tingkap/perut and if it is through vagina, ikut pintu or ikut bawah hem so complicated…..

alright i dont have sex experience as i am a VIRGIN girl so dont have anything to share with…. 

as you read this blog what did you think i am? she is a PERVERT… like what dr ismail did… when he use words penis, clitoris, vagina, urethra and all those word i believe that he got the same feed back like me…. yeah right i am a PERVERT little donkey and you are an angel… i can imagine specific faces who like to make face when i use this word in conversation…why dont you try to open your mind for awhile and try be on the same shoe with me… my idea is simple… we have this organs, till when we are going to call it burung lelaki putik perempuan or what ever term you used to call it….  dr ismail is right we suppose to tell our going to be children the organ with specific name/term… so when they grow up they will not feel awkward with this term…

i dont ask u to practice sex or etc… just simple..you have your right to call your organ with the right term… you are not pervert by doing so but if you misuse it with different intention no doubt la you are….

Let me share with you about my most special hobby. It isn’t jogging, but reading comic. I know that most of us think that reading comic is useless, wasting time, stupid and not challenging. Hem, comic is everything for me… honestly I read a lot of comics and have my own collection. Although I don’t have all series but I have most of it especially for these two comics which are TEAM MEDICAL DRAGON and PENYIASAT REMAJA. My sister also has her own collection of SIN CHAN. So what the special of this hobby? Alright, so far that strike my mind it is makes my younger cousins who come to my house forcefully, to shut up!!!!! My grandmother stays with us since I was born. The problem is, I am a silent girl in the world, therefore all my cousins always get bored when they come to my house… and I always feel guilty as I am suppose to play with them but I hate to do so. So, my special comic collection makes them quiet for a while than keep on saying “mak bosanlah jom balik umah tok mak” or “jom balik kl” I want to share a phrase from Team medical dragon… quality of life….what do you think about it..? do you think you have a quality of life? I used to think that those who at door’s death the only person who suppose to think about quality of life. I mean person who have heart disease, cancer, renal failure, COPD and etc. However, today it makes me think again, am I immortal.. or will I live until the old age? We don’t know right. Maybe when I finish typing this blog I die.. Nobody knows our fade. So, doesn’t it mean that we also at ‘door’s death’ and doesn’t it mean we also need to think about quality of life? I always hope that night will come earlier and I can end this day and start a new day tomorrow, I don’t have mood today and I want to have a happy day tomorrow..and when tomorrow comes I would have the same feeling and hope the day after tomorrow is better than tomorrow and continuously… it never comes into my mind to appreciate today …. Why? Becoz I am healthy and I may live until my old age…but like what I told u before with word ‘KUN FAYAKUN’ everything can happen… including our death… doesn’t mean that I ask us not to plan for tomorrow.. no it isn’t !!!! I asked us to use our last few hours today as quality as we could.. and before we sleep ask ourselves… am I have a quality day today… am I happy today? Am I satisfied to end this day with what I have done and start a new day?…. I wish that I can still feel this feeling until my last breath. I don’t want to lose it… to feel that I must appreciate every second of my life…. My last seconds to explore ALLAH’s earth, my last breath to do something with my best and maybe my last day to be loved and love someone else. So, stop thinking that I can have a better day tomorrow if I don’t know how to appreciate today. And a better day of tomorrow is a day which u start a new day with hope that u can have a quality day all day long rather than hoping to end it up as soon as possible…and start to wish a better day tomorrow,,,, Enjoy your day as miracle thing happens everyday

Alright another quote from a movie that I watched last Friday, a Cinderella story leads by Hillary Duff and the handsome Chad Michael Murray. ‘NEVER LET YOUR FEAR OF STRIKING OUT, KEEP YOU FROM PLAYING THE GAME’ Interesting huh? Let’s we discuss about that ‘FEAR’ of the quote…. Is that ‘fear’ means afraid or it is has hiding meaning? Actually it is up to you guys to describe it…. Like the word ‘guys’ that I used in the latter sentence. Guys means all of you, fellow, men and women… however when I used that word to certain people, (certain never mean all!) these girls would answer “hello we are girls not guys..” hem interesting huh? Back to the word ‘FEAR OF STRIKING OUT’… alright what ever that you think about it’s meaning, never turn to be wrong… NEVER.. as it isn’t a SAQ or BCQ question. It is your OWN opinion.. here, I want to share with you what I am thinking of it.. hehe… sorry it is Saturday therefore I have a lot of times to play with stupid phrases…. Fear means afraid… yeah everyone right and one mark each… the most important Is can the phrase fear of striking out represent something else?…for me it can represent a lot of things and I am talking bout myself… fear to fail, fear to be shamed, fear to lose, fear to be humiliated, fear to fail, fear to be criticized, fear to hear no or wrong answer, fear to be centered of attention, fear to etc, etc and etc. So? So I fear to try, fear to play, fear to hang around with my friends, fear to speak, fear to answer something I know, fear to do a lot of thing…. What I did to COVER it not overcome it… denial, defensive, talking rubbish, silent, angry, etc etc…. The result? Shameful, feel so stupid, dissatisfaction, hopeless, stress, lose friends, etc, etc and etc… Am I happy with it? No!!!!! Alright today is 1st Muharram right? Why don’t you and I make new resolution? I add some spices to that quote and now it turns to be mine, ‘NEVER LET THE FEAR OF STRIKING OUT, KEEP ME FROM PLAYING THE GAME AND KILL MYSELF’ hem harsher but a very good motivation.

When u are responsible to one or more post in clubs or organization, your life will change and everything will turn haywire if you are not an organize person… it happened to me. although I just have a few posts but it’s really turn my life upside down. Last week, I was totally ‘flat’ when I had to organize a farewell party for our sem 5 hostel member. As only 4 of us work out for the event it was totally tiring. I only went back to my room around 12 everyday and after that I had to study to fulfill my obligation as a medical student… Oklah that wasn’t my point to share with all of u. It was started when I didn’t sleep on Friday night as I was too busy watching Korean series movies wonderful life heheehe…. Therefore I took a nap at 2.30 p.m till 5.00 p.m. After prayed asar, while I was studying, I heard someone knocked the door.. as I am a very very friendly person I opened the door and standing in front of my apartment was a malay man. He said, he was from pest service and he asked me to give my ic…amazingly I gave it to him… frankly, I never give my ic to anybody except for bank procedure, and I also clueless why I didn’t ask for his id like I used to do. Maybe at that time I just wanted to get rid of him. However when I asked my ic back he looked reluctant and said that I have to pay RM 80… and for the first time in my life I didn’t argue much although it is relating with money matter which I care a lot. I just gave him that money. And after a few minute later, his worker came and did his job… and just after that I was realized hello I just gave that man my money which were my next week pocket money… and I went to balcony to check whether he was still in this building or not but I couldn’t see any pest van so I assumed he had left. Around 7.40p.m I tried to call the company when kak khairun gave me a called and she told me to do so. Like what I was expected the phone rang but nobody answered it. When I tried for second time, I heard a voice said ‘the number u have dial cannot be reach at this moment..’ and I realized I had been cheated man!!!!!!!! Without waiting any longer I went to pak guard post and found out that there wasn’t any pest control service that the management asked for… even the stupid pak guard scolded me until I half screamed said” pak cik tak payah nak marah saya, saya ni dah lah rugi besar,” I know that I was so rude. But why should he scold me while it was also their mistake.. how come we the resident of that apartment sometimes so difficult to get into our residential area while the stupid cheater can enter it as easy as that? It wasn’t finished with that… I did a police report… and again there they scolded me and they thought that I made a report to get back my money. Hello I know that I couldn’t get it back, I wanted that report will alert the other residents there. I could simply keep it a secret so that I wouldn’t look dumb but was it a very good ethic? No rite… and that man would come again next time and manage to collect more money from stupid person like me, I learn a very good lesson from the incident. It makes me become more careful when I meet strangers. Even when I was waiting for the lift and a stranger came I would climb the staircase rather than used the lift. I do learn that everything we do, do it slowly, calmly and make sure although it isn’t perfect but it is done with satisfaction.

Am I a die hard fan of Korean movies stories? The answer is absolutely NO… but recently when tv started to reshow ‘wonderful life’ series movies it attracted my attention…. Therefore as I didn’t want to waste my time waiting every weekends, (as the times are same whether u watch vcd or in the tv) and I don’t have tv at my home, I borrowed vcd from Fiqah… thanks a lot dude…

Actually, I will not spoil your excitation to follow the series by telling u the story…. I just want to share this small part taken from the movie which I have translated to English, I mean broken English and I try not to change the structure…

“If u choose to give it up,

In this world there isn’t any other thing

Easiest than to give up

If every time u face difficulties and obstacles, u give up,

DO U THINK THAT U CAN LIVE HAPPILY?

Everyone live in this world,

A lot of time feel want to give up….

A lot of things to let its go

So, the only way to cope with it…

WITH PATIENT”

Don’t u think that it is absolutely true?

What is the different between feel down, feel want to give up and give up….

The flows like a pathology of a disease…

When something bad happen, u feel very down… u feel tired until sometimes u unable to even move a single muscle.

And u started to ask

ur

self… why don’t I give it up…. It is useless or I have enough of it….

And lastly, u give up….

As what the movie say, it is easy to give up….

BUT it is really painful to wake up again and recovered

It needs a lot of strength especially mental strength

Only a determine person can get over it….

Therefore rather than give up after first try why don’t we be patient and keep it try…

Success is not always happen in a glimpse….or should I say that it will never happen in a glimpse?

But it need times, passionate and fades…

We as human being, we can’t change the destiny.. right?

But, do we know that our destiny is? That also we don’t know…

More or less, the conclusion is….. we have to try even harder than we can and after that tawakal to Allah, and hope that we are destined to success…

Is it makes sense..? I hope so…

aiseh nak exam lagi… mata aku dah tahap nak terjojol keluar…. penat dah menatap semua note2 akibatnya apa yang aku baca pun aku tak tahu… tapi jangan tak tahu kali ni ada certain2 notes yang aku baca lebih dari tiga kali… hahaa ni tak termasuk baca untuk pbl… masalhnya memory tiga second aku ni menyebabkan semua usaha2 aku useless atau dengan kata lain tak yah baca pun tak per sebab kalo baca pun itu gak yang aku dapat tak menambah mana berkurang adalah… hem macam mana nak jadi doktor ni? hari ni ingat treatment untuk htn esok nak treat same prob.. alamak lupalah… hehee matilah patient aku loh….wah bosannya… pas exam esok nak main boling sampai putus jari boleh? alah bukannya nak sarung cincin so relax lah kita minum dulu…. ya betul tahap ketidaknormalan mental aku dah diparas bahaya.. sebahaya banjir kat johor… and banjir di hati aku hahaa what the heck beb…. apsal tah tiba2 rasa nak bagi piggy bank kat orang…? heheeh… anybody volunteer? free beb cume… it is piggy bank… what wrong with piggy bank…? aku rasa baik aku balik hostel and tidur… if not tak pasal2 imu terpaksa umumkan operasi lalang.. fuyo best tu…. aaaahhhhh bosan doh… doh donut… heheheehe….

let talk about something familiar among student… ahem… stress….

stop bluffing dude if u never experience it especially if u are a MEDIC student… medic student and stress is seems like ‘irama dan lagu’ can’t be seperated… and it isn’t just in your head but it is in your system… (hem what i am talkung huh?)

what i did when i am stress?

craving for food like i am a pregnant woman,i can eat kfc today, mcdonald yesterday and tomorrow if i am stess,

went for jog, 30 minutes, 40 minutes or even 50 minutes

hang up with friends, laughing for nut things for hours….

and the conclusion……?

did everything manage to cope the stress?

hem… a very big question… at first i thought i do, but realized the stress is not completely diminished or disappear…. but recently i have a very good remedy which i left it behind for some times…. 

absolutely, we should come back to the natural law…. we come from Allah and we will back to Allah… He knows everything that we dont know…. why dont we take Wuduk’ (there is istilah in english but i can’t figure it out now) and pray when we feel misserable, hopeless or stress… zikir and recite the Quran… Insya Allah we will feel very calm and have a very fresh mind. we are 100 % ready to think the solution for the problem if it is the problem which need a solution, or to continue our obligation as a student

the other remedies…. they never been wrong to try but why dont you give it a shoot to a new one?

oh god, i have a lot of story to share with… a lot….. but the most interesting is ‘JOHOR BANJIR LOR’

last week, before i went back to bt pahat most of my friends asked me the same question.."how’s ur house? got banjir aah?" i aswered with simple confident answer "no lah.. my house situated at quite higher place and as long as i can remember, we never been one of the vicitim…so it came across my mind " is the banjir is so bad until everyone ask bout it…" actually i am a lazy bump so i rearly read newspaper so serve me rite for being the last person know bout it….

alrite… make it short huzaifah..huhuhhu…

i went home with my sisters and mak long by kelisa @ tom hehehe tah pepepe…. and along the journey we turned on the radio to get the lastest info about the traffic especially johor highway… at first we decided to exit at tangkak but u know what? tangkak exit was close as th flood was totally bad and no vehicle allowed to pass through… so i realized YA ALLAH teruknya banjir ni!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and when we arrived at SEMPADAN NEGERI JOHOR guess what we saw? absolutely… banjir …… all the palm estates was flooded…. astaghfirullah…. it was the worst flood that i never saw… of coz la i live in johor unless i stay in kelantan might be it was just an anual event rite? so we captured some picture which i put in my album in my friendster….

ususally if we went back home we could choose whether we want to use tangkak, ayer hitam, or pagoh  exit but for this time we just have ONE choice.. ayer hitam…only ONE…..

ALHAMDULILLAH my house save from the flood but not my uncle house. so on last wednesday we came to their house we thought that the banjir was over as the rain had stopped. but we go wrong… the flood was even worst than before… it was becoz to save the empangan from damage and cause a lot of death they had to open the empangan and let the water to drain to nearest villages… for the first time in my life i had an opportunity to play in flood….

although everthing goes fine now but believed it or not this banjir was the worst that happened within last 30 years….. and cause a lot of damage.